Losing Herself

She was somebody once, before she was a wife and a mother, she was a cheerleader, she thinks, and something about student council, it was all so long ago. She knows her daughter is a cheerleader (is that where that memory was born?), and she knows her son is on the football team, with a scholarship for college if he doesn’t break a leg or twist a knee. She was somebody, Before, before the “mom I need this, mom take me here, mom where did I put my pom poms, and honey we’ll be late”. She was somebody once, before her larger than life husband took up all of the room, be it at home or at the endless meetings with high officials, she was somebody. But as she looks back on her life, she has discovered that she has disappeared, one piece at a time, until all that remains of her is this shell of a body that functions on its own, without any need for her. She looks at her children and her husband, and they don’t see her at all, and she wonders where she got so lost, as her hands disappear from her view. She was somebody once, before her larger than life husband took up all of the room, be it at home or at the endless meetings with high officials, she was somebody. But as she looks back on her life, she has discovered that she has disappeared, one piece at a time, until all that remains of her is this shell of a body that functions on its own, without any need for her. She looks at her children and her husband, and they don’t see her at all, and she wonders where she got so lost, as her hands disappear from her view.

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2 Responses to “Losing Herself”

  1. Loved this. Especially loved the last sentence.

  2. This is fabulous! Describes a lot of women, I think, myself included. Midlife is hard. You write great, I look forward to reading more.

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