Finally, Mercy

I have written of my best friends on many occasion, pop over and read “..Makes Us Stronger” or “Outliving a Life” on my 6S site, you will find the pain of finding a beloved pet broken and bleeding, and a man that was blessed with death in sleep. My living friends are all the best, so the only friend I can write about would be the best friend I had that I treated horribly for most of her life.

Her name was Ruffy, and when she came to me she was a small ball of fluff that fit in the palm of my hand, a poodle puppy that my father rescued from the pound, I was not in a position to have or care for a dog and had no concept for patience. No matter the abuse, whether it be beating her for not being house trained or making her live on the streets of San Diego when I was homeless, she still curled up with me everynight, her warmth and strength somehow seeping into my dreams, a tail wagging every morning when I awoke.

I betrayed her by having a child, and for 4 years Ruffy would not sleep in the bed with me, but remained on the floor. Only when my child was old enough to have her own room did Ruffy jump back on the bed to sleep by my left side, as she had for so many years before the intrusion.

As the years went on she gave me a puppy, a puppy that would grow up to be the greatest love of my life, and she gave me her love as all dogs do, even though I never returned it.

I never did a single act of kindness for Ruffy for all of her days, until her final days remaining. I began picking her up and putting her on the bed because she was blind and couldn’t jump, I picked her off of the bed and gently put her on the floor in the morning, her tail still wagging, even though it pained her, and we did this dance for two years.

I came home from work one night, there had been a horrible thunderstorm that day, and I found Ruffy at the bottom of the stairs into the basement. She had stumbled in her blindness and terror and could not go back up the stairs, she remained in that state of panic for the entire day. For those of you that don’t know, I euthanize animals for a living, and picking her day was (sorry, can’t continue)

My daughter and I took pictures of her with us on the chosen day, and I gently euthanized her in my kitchen. I laced her last meal of hotdogs with the solution I use at the shelter, and she died quietly in my arms. I did not take her to a vet not because of the cost but because I didn’t want to subject her to smells and sounds that would frighten her, I had done her wrong at every turn in her life, I could not betray her again.

For all the 16 years of her devotion and love, all I can say is that in the end, I finally showed Mercy.

(The Best Friend)


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